This was something I typed up on the eve of the 4 year anniversary of my Mom's death.
November 5, 2012 at 6:37pm
4 years ago on election night, my Mom was in hospice for her second night. I remember going up to hospice around 10pm after most of the polls were in, the nurse calling me, telling me that I needed to get up there, because she thought she would be gone by morning. I called my Dad and my brothers I think and told them (it's kind of a blur), and sat with her and talked a little bit. I remember trying to make conversation and telling her the election was tonight. She was weak and for the last 4 or 5 months of her life, she could only talk in a whisper. I could barely hear her asking me something, but made out something along the lines of "Who won?" I thought it an odd question coming from her, because she never mentioned the election prior to that, and our family was never really into politics, but I thought she was just making conversation. I told her, "Obama." and she kind of gave me a look I didn't understand and drifted off without responding. I don't remember if we talked much more that night or she fell asleep. The next two days, I never heard her speak again, just her breathing. until she passed away on Nov. 6th, 2008. That damn question she asked me for some reason bothered me for two days afterwards, until it finally hit me like a ton of bricks.
I got my knowledge and love for pop culture/TV, Movies...etc. from my mom, so it suddenly made sense why she had given me that look, It was the look of "That's not the question I was asking when I asked, "Who won, but I'm too tired to ask again and be clearer." All of the previous conversations we'd had on the phone recently and basically since I'd moved out of the house always started, "Did you see, "such and such the other night?" and then we'd have a conversation for what seemed like an hour over what we'd both watched for the past week or two.
So at this time, she was REALLY into "Dancing With The Stars"... I felt horrible that i didn't know what she meant when she asked, "Who won?" She couldn't have given a crap about who won the election....all she wanted to know was, who got voted off on Dancing with the Stars.
Well I couldn't have told her anyway, because since the elections were that Tuesday, the results show wasn't on until Wednesday and by then it was too late. So, Mom, I had to do some research, but in answer to that question 4 years ago..."Susan Lucci got voted off." I love you, mom.
...and fuck you, Cancer.
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